Change? Change! Change.

Happy Summer!

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My Gratitude Jar

Habits, whether good or bad, start off as thin as a single strand of hair – easy to snap. However, if we continue with the behavior, that same strand-like habit will grow to be strong and sturdy like chain links – difficult to break. Having an attitude of gratitude is a habit. This is a habit that I am constantly working toward; it is not easy. It takes work. It requires reflecting, sifting through life experiences, and being aware that there is value in all my interactions.  It is not easy to be in gratitude when negativity steps in, when there is illness, death, or when bad news comes our way. However, I know if I search within, there is always something for which I can be grateful.

Over the years, I’ve attempted to keep a gratitude journal, but after a short period, the journaling of my thoughts became a dormant idea. Some time ago, I heard about the gratitude jar and I promised myself that I would start one. I don’t need a journal or a jar to express my gratefulness, but this tangible means of reflecting helps me to recognize my blessings and joys.

The birth of my Gratitude Jar was on January 12, 2016.  See photos at the end of this post.

My first note of gratitude:

This evening I spent some time with Rosh as she worked on her “bottle this feeling” jars. Her “About” page on her website talks about how being grateful contributes to your happiness – what a beautiful reminder for me as I bottle 101 thoughts in my head. I am grateful to my daughter for reminding me to live with an attitude of gratitude.

Here is another note from January 16^th

I’m in gratitude for…

• Kind, caring, listening ears
• The gift of time
• The gift of friendship
• Knowing when to speak softly and quietly
• Lessons in time management
• Being honored with trust
• Prayers and positive energy

I have decided to grow the habit of being in gratitude today and every day. I find that being grateful brings me joy. Although I do not write gratitude notes with pen and paper daily, I write them with my reflections and actions.

 Today, among other things, I am grateful for your friendship, my health, and the peace, joy, and positive energy that surround me.

 Thank you for visiting my blog!

 With gratitude,

 Elaine

 

Face the fear?

Credit: Google Images

You’ve got to face your fear! I’ve heard this many, many times and yet I cannot face my fear. I’m limited by this terrible fear I have of dogs. I say it’s a phobia. My children tell me all the time that I need therapy. I agree. My friend, Pauline, over at The Contented Crafter, recently wrote about her cute and adorable pet puppy, Siddy and I am having fun with him from afar, but I know in my heart if we ever meet, I will close my eyes and cower behind Pauline or anyone or anything that would offer some measure of protection.

I’m often asked if I was bitten by a dog as a child. No. I was chased a few times and that scared me half to death. I don’t enjoy walking in the parks when owners have their dogs without a leash. If I’m invited to someone’s home, one of the first questions I ask, “Do you have a dog”? Hosts usually put their dog away when I visit, but I’m consumed with guilt the entire time and I want to leave as quickly as possible. Not a good way to have fun.

Many years ago, when my son was a baby, I pulled up on my driveway and as I got out of the car a little puppy came up to me. It startled me so much that I climbed on the roof of my car and waited there until a jogger passed by and took the puppy away. Thankfully, it was just about a minute, however, that minute felt like hours.

Another time, when I was a cashier, a customer’s dog (pets were not allowed in the store) came into my cashier register area and scared me so badly that I jumped over the grocery slide. I was ignited by fear.

The only time I was not scared of a dog was about six years ago when someone close to me was in a threatening situation and I was entirely focused on her safety.

I want to be able to pet a dog. I want to be able to have a puppy sit with me. I want to erase my fear of dogs!

Do you have an intense fear of anything?

A Tribute to Kate Sarrami

Credit: Bing Images

Today’s post is dedicated to Kate Sarrami from Toronto, Canada.

Most pre-teens want to snuggle up in bed on a Sunday morning, especially on a cold Sunday morning, but not Kate. This morning, while most of us were still in the Land of Nod, Kate stood alongside her mother, my childhood friend with about 7,000 other participants to run the Toronto Yonge Street 10 K. Kate, the athletic 12-year-old could not resist the mother-daughter running challenge her mom proposed to her a couple of months ago.

It was a mere two degrees Celsius when they arrived at the starting point armed with their running attire, warm smiles,  and enthusiasm. The weather was no deterrent to Kate. She was pumped. It was her first official running event and she could hardly wait for the wave of runners ahead of her to step over the starting line. She was all ready to go…ready to hit the asphalt and to cross that finish line before her mama. She did! With a delightful smile on her face and joy in her heart, Kate crossed the finish line in 51 minutes and 34 seconds. As for her mom, she clocked in at 58:56.

Congratulations to Kate for her perseverance in her first running event! Hats off to Kate!

Photographer: R. Sarrami

 

Sharon’s Collage

 

 

The Gym Cops

In response to a statement I made last Saturday night, I received this text from my youngest on Monday, “Gym today with me n sis”. I promptly replied, “I have lots of work to do, go ahead without me”. Not long after, my phone rang and Rosh, my eldest, in a firm voice reminded me that I promised to go with them as a guest. I tried my best to get out of that promise to no avail.

At 6:45 P.M, I trudged to the car. It was as if I was being arrested and carted off to prison. Upon arrival, I was surprised to see so many people on the machines and immediately felt all eyes on me. Not really.

I asked for a tour of the facility, not from my daughters, the gym cops, but from an employee. I wanted an official tour so I could ask lots of questions, delay the exercise, and evade their watchful eyes.

Credit: Bing Images

After about half hour of touring, questioning, and going over the membership fees, the younger gym cop came up and accosted me. She wanted to know why I was going over membership fees when her gym plan included a guest. I humbly stated that I was simply being polite. I was given a stern warning to get moving. I obliged.

It was a pretty easy decision about the cardio machine. I chose the bike. I spent another five minutes sanitizing it. Well, it was really the tour guide who did the work. As I climbed on to the bike, I gave big, cheery wave to the two gym cops who responded with thumbs up and delightful smiles. I set the timer for a whopping 20 minutes and I rode that bike like an Olympian, or so I thought until I saw the results. What?! Only 67 calories in 20 minutes? I gave myself an “A” for effort.

The gym cops were pleased that I went with them and my heart swelled with pride that my daughters have become my role models for exercising.

Have you ever tried to avoid exercising the way I did?

World Kindness Day

Credit: Google Images

Wednesday, November 13, 2013  is World Kindness Day. In honor of this special day, I’ve collected a few quotes to share with you. The counselor at my school shared this video clip with me and I want to pass it along.

That best portion of a man’s life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.~ William Wordsworth

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn’t anyone who doesn’t appreciate kindness and compassion.~Dalai Lama

Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.~Kahlil Gibran

A kind word is like a spring day.~Russian Proverb

Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.~Seneca

Credit: Google Images

Brighten Someone’s Day- Today!

Credit: Bing images

Why seven? Why not ten? Seven has a nice ring to it!

1. Be a coffee fairy. Surprise a co-worker with cup of coffee from his favorite coffee shop. Your heart will smile when you see the joy this simple, inexpensive act will bring to him.

2. Write a “just because” note to someone. Last Thursday, one of my students brought a handwritten note for each of her classmates. The smiles that lit up their faces were invaluable. I took a photo of the class holding up their letters because I want a tangible memory of her thoughtfulness.

3. Let someone go ahead of you in the grocery line, especially if they have just a few items. This happened to me earlier today. This act of kindness brightened my afternoon.

4. When the children are standing outside of the grocery store with their fundraiser chocolate, buy one and then give it back to them to resell. It’s a win-win situation (at least for me) I don’t need the extra sugar and they get an extra dollar.

5. Pay a compliment. Whenever I wear my coral blouse to work, I get lots of compliments. Each compliment brings a smile to my face and brightens my day.

6. The next time you take a digital photo of someone, add a cute frame, speech bubble, or caption before sending it off.

7. Be optimistic. Your positive attitude will rub off. It can be hard at times, but when things are challenging, remind yourself that you have the ability to find a good outcome. A positive attitude is a sure brightener!

When you brighten someone else’s day, the light reflects right back to you!

Credit: Bing Images

Raksha Bandhan

On August 20^th faces will light up with smiles and hearts will laugh together. Why? This day marks another Raksha Bandhan festival.  Hindus and some non-Hindus throughout the world eagerly look forward to this auspicious day. What is Raksha Bandhan?

Raksha Bandhan is the celebration of the relationship between a brother and a sister. It falls on the full moon in the month of Sravana in the lunar calendar. Raksha means protection and bandhan means to tie. Sisters tie a woven thread bracelet called a rakhi around the wrists of their brothers.

Photo credit: Google images

As a sister ties the rakhi, she prays for blessings and the wellbeing of her brother and he in turn promises to protect her forever. Although the thread of the rakhi is frail and can easily be broken, symbolically, it has immeasurable strength; it is stronger than iron chains. The rakhi symbolizes that unbreakable bond of love and trust between brothers and sisters.  On Raki day, as it is fondly called, brothers and sisters try to meet, but if this is not possible, sisters deliver their rakhis by mail, call, send e-greetings, or cards for their brothers.

A sampling of rakhis.  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Raksha Bandhan is not only for biological brothers and sisters, but for any sister who wishes to seek the protection of a brother. Additionally, it is not uncommon for Hindu women to tie rakhis on non-Hindu men.

Like most Hindu festivals, Raksha Bandhan brings singing, dancing, and food! Here in South Florida, the Raksha Bandhan celebrations have already begun. Last Saturday, I attended a show presented by the Araya Samaj of Florida which was a delightful treat! As expected, my sweet tooth was thoroughly satisfied. There was also lots of singing and dancing. One young dancer enthralled me with her beautiful and graceful moves.

Lillian Grace Latchmin is a 12-year-old bharatanatyam dance student. She is a dedicated young lady who wants to excel in this Indian classical dance form. Bharatanatyam, the oldest of all the classical dance styles in India is a powerful and dynamic dance that requires patient and committed practice. Lily’s commitment to her passion certainly shone through when she stepped on stage with her graceful moves. Her dance added an extra sparkle to the Raksha Bandhan show!

A happy and blessed Raksha Bandhan 2013!

May the bond of love and trust between brothers and sisters remain steadfast and strong.

A letter to my teachers

In 2007, I wrote a letter to my teachers at Zeeburg Secondary School for an alumni magazine. Unfortunately, the magazine did not take off and I did not pursue any other means of sending my letter. Last month, I attended an event celebrating the 50^th year of Zeeburg Government Secondary School and I came back home inspired to find my letter written six years ago. I plan on sending out my blog link so my teachers can finally read this thank you letter.

Although many of my readers here do not know of my school, I am sure that you’ve got at least one teacher who made a lasting impression in your life. 

June 2007

My Teachers,

Although I think of you often and thank you in my heart for educating, loving, and believing in me, I have never taken the opportunity to show you how grateful I am to all of you. This tribute is long overdue, but I hope that my penned thoughts can in some small way express my gratitude to you for your dedication in teaching and nurturing my young impressionable mind. I thank you for the exceptional role you have had in my life when I was your student and for the influence you continue to exert on me as I go through life’s journey.

As teachers, you rarely get to see the fruits of your labor or the extent of your harvest, but it is my wish that you become aware of how your teachings have impacted my life and have molded and shaped me into the person I am today. You not only taught me academics, you taught me how to live, laugh, and love. You helped me to recognize that knowledge does not only come from a book, but from experiences such as mistakes, failures, and setbacks.

In this letter, I pay homage and give accolade to all my teachers. I would like to recount and reflect upon specific experiences, but I want to make it too long. I have encountered teachers throughout my life; each of us is a teacher in our own right, but had it not been for the influential and exceptional educators I found in you, I would not have experienced some of the personal triumphs in my life. You have instilled in me a love for school and the pursuit of lifelong learning. Thank you, my teachers!

You were masters at observation – because of the different activities I had in school, I was sometimes placed at the center of attention where everyone’s eyes were upon me.  Many times I wanted to deflect that attention by giving a poor excuse for not being able to participate, but being observant and intuitive individuals, my teachers recognized my doubt and fear and always nurtured my confidence back into place. Thank you for teaching me to believe in myself.

It is said that “teacher expectation” is one of the most important attributes in a student’s success and I can truly say that I bear witness to this belief. Here’s an example of such expectation: I recall when I was about 14 years old one of my teachers sent a message for me to go see him in his office. I was surprised, for this teacher did not teach me any academic subjects. However, he had an administrative role and that got my knees knocking. My mouth was dry. I was scared.

Upon arriving in his office, he looked at me through his thick glasses hanging at the tip of his nose, gave me a reassuring smile, and invited me to take a seat. In a soft, gentle, and kind voice he explained to me the reason I was sitting in his office – my marks (grades) had fallen; they were not where they ought to have been. There was no reprimand or expression of disappointment, just a reference to my gender, age, and the possibility that there might be some reciprocity toward the boys who were paying me much attention. He did not ask me to improve my grades, he expected me to do so. When I left his office that day, I decided to never give him the opportunity to invite me again for such a discussion. Teacher expectation was high. The lessons I learned decades ago have become a part of who I am today. Thank you, Mr. Gobin!

Throughout my years at Zeeburg Secondary I spent much time with some of you, grappling with debate preparation, public speaking tips, and learning valuable life lessons that did not come in a textbook. Familiarity allowed me the enviable opportunity to ask questions that a typical teenager dared not ask of her teachers. My questions were given the attention they deserved, and were answered accurately. I must admit that the boldness I displayed as a teen has not in any way diminished with age! Thank you for satisfying my curiosity.

I would be remiss if I do not mention the valuable spiritual lessons I gained at my Bible Club meetings while in school.  Bible Club was an extension of the values I was getting at home and at my church. I can also say without hesitation that my ability to speak to an audience of my peers, as well as adults was certainly encouraged and nurtured during those meetings. Even today, I often reflect upon those lunch time meetings and bask in the warmth of those fond memories.  Thank you, Mrs. Tulsi for your love, care, and devotion.

My teachers remain a constant source of inspiration – your lessons serve and inspire me daily. Thank you for instilling in me the drive and ambition to embrace the noble profession of teaching. Yes, I am a teacher! Each day as I step into my 3^rd grade classroom, I emulate your high expectations and love of teaching and learning. Like you, I am also touching lives, building bridges, and enabling dreams.  Like you, I am also planting seeds of possibilities. Like you, I may not see the fruits of my labor, but you have assured me that I can impact lives decades later.

My teachers, I thank you for your guidance, knowledge, skills, and expertise, but above all, I thank you for educating, loving, and believing in me.

With love and gratitude,

Elaine

Zeeburg Government Secondary School
Photo taken in 2011

A Powerful Habit: Responsibility

Responsibility means doing what you’re supposed to do even when you don’t feel like it. ~Patricia Ortega, Mental Health Counselor.

Responsibility is a habit, a powerful habit. It is a habit that I strive toward daily in my life’s journey and I know I am not alone. I don’t think anyone gets up in the morning and says, “Today, I’m going work hard to build bad habits.” On the contrary, we all genuinely want to become better individuals. We all want to make our good habits better.

Here are my five ways, in no particular order, to build the powerful habit of responsibility.

Be polite: People may not remember what you did, but they will remember how you made them feel. You don’t have to know someone to say good morning, hello, or share your smile. Hold the door for the person behind you. Let someone else go ahead of you in line. Wake up each day and vow to be polite.

Be a good listener: Fight, fight, fight that urge to interrupt. In our family, we regularly interrupt each other. We definitely have to work harder on this one! Don’t finish other people’s sentences, unless you’re a mind reader and know what they want to say! Watch that wandering mind and bring it back to the conversation.

Photo credit: Wikipedia

Be “present” in the company of others: Have you ever noticed how someone picks up his/her cell phone while in the company of others and proceeds to have a conversation or exchange texts? If you’re expecting an important call or message, state it ahead of time. All other calls, tweets, texts, or updates can wait. Enjoy the human interaction. Recently, I was at a restaurant and every member of a family of four was on the phone or other electronic device while they were waiting to be served.

Dress appropriately: I firmly believe that we ought to dress to suit the occasion. I don’t wear a blouse and slacks to the beach, so I certainly won’t wear a low-cut top and ripped jeans to a meeting with my child’s teacher.

Be reflective: One might ask, “How can being reflective help me to be responsible”? Reflecting on our day, an event, a situation, or even a moment can help us to focus on what matters. Reflecting keeps us thoughtful, grounded, and balanced.

As an adult, when I keep these five points in mind and act upon them, I know that I am doing what I’m supposed to do even when I don’t feel like it. I’m working toward being more responsible.